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Animebaby1223

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People tell me it's just a band or it's just a stupid song. People tell me to just stop being sad. People tell me to just stop being nervous all the time. But don't you dare talk to me about something you will never understand. You don't understand. Stop telling me to just be happy cause I don't know what happy fells like anymore, I've hidden my sadness for too long and I can't anymore. Stop telling me to just not be nervous anymore but I don't know how not to be. And stop telling me it's just a stupid obsession because it's not. You don't know what I go through each day so just stop talking about things you don't understand. You don't know whats made me sad, you don't know why I am nervous, you do not know what that band means to me. You don't know who I am when I don't fake a smile. You never helped me when I needed it, you know who did? That stupid band did. The lyrics reached me when I was in a dark place and pulled me towards the light. When I was contemplating doing things that could potentially hurt others those lyrics stopped me and made me think. You were never there for me when I was hurting. You were never there to stop those who continue to hurt me. Yet you still try to tell me to 'just be happy' and 'it's just a stupid band, stop obsessing over them'. You never helped me in the continuing dark times but they did. I see you every day and get no help, I have never met any of them and they continue to pull me through each day. You don't understand the pain I hold in and take out upon my body but they do. You have never gone through what I have, but they have. You tell me to 'just get over it' They tell me 'just hold on a little longer. It won't last forever'. You don't know of the countless nights I've spent crying. You don't know what it feels like to take a blade to your wrist. You don't know what it fells like to never be good enough for someone. You don't know me so stop trying to. Don't you dare talk to me about something you will never understand
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WTF!!

1 min read
Okay I am officially pissed off! WTF is with all these little girls cutting themselves over biber smoking weed of fuck Zane from 1D getting engaged?! The fuck is wrong with all of you! It's their lives and they may do with it what they please and iof that means getting engaged or smoking weed so fucking be it! It pisses me off that people do this!Grow the fuck up and stop this cutforbeiber and cutforzerrie shit! Its fucking mental to do that to your selves just because your favorite pop star did something stupid like smoke weed or something that involves happiness like getting engaged!
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Devils Lullaby

11 min read
Let's Play Hangman

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Standing alone at a cross section on a darkened street, don't know which way to go. If I turn left, I will be going back to a seemingly empty house where no one cares. But to the right is Death himself, come to take me away should I choose to go with him.
Which way do I go?
Do I want to go back to being bullied at school and invisible at home? Or do I listen to the sweet words of comfort coming from Death's lullaby? Conflicted I stand there and scream. I scream until I feel my lungs almost collapse. Falling to my knees on the cold, wet pavement I begin to weep.
"Which way do I go?!" I scream into the crowed street, knowing people can hear me they just choose to ignore the broken girl with scars on her wrist. Frustrated with being ignored I scream again. This time someone does stop they turn and look at me. I stare back at the boy with piercing green eyes, dressed differently than the others making him stand out, and scream –
"Please help me! I don't wanna live anymore! I need help!"
The boy smiles and starts running in the opposite direction of me.
"Wait!" I try to call after him but it's too late, he's already disappeared into the crowd of people. Feeling defeated and alone I fall once more and tears prickle my eyes.
I suddenly feel a cold, boney arms encircle my body in an almost comforting way. With my teary eyes I look into Death's lifeless ones.
"Now child, you see? Nobody wants you around. Not even those of your own kind. I know of a way to make all your pain go away." The chilling voice of Death speaks in my ear.
"R- Really? How?"
"Yes child. All you must do is take my hand and I will make all the hurt go away"
I look down at his old boney hand and back up at his face.  "You're the only one who can help?" I ask tenderly.
"That's right, you were even rejected by someone who was just like you. Pity I couldn't get to him before they did."
"Who's they"
"Curiosity killed the cat, my dear. Now shall we be on our way?"
He holds his out for me to take again. Slowly, almost shyly I lift my hand ready to place it in his.
"Wait!" I hear a male voice call. I look over to see the same boy from before. "Don't do it! You're not alone in the way you are feeling right now! We've all been where you are now."
"What do you know?! And who is this  we you are talking about?" I ask slightly angry at him.
"'Cause I was like you once. I used to feel alone, used, angry. I used to think the way you do now, that Death is the only way to stop the hurt. But it's not, there is another way. As for the we, take a look around at all those suffering souls that were just like yours once." He answers me, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Who's they?" I question taking a step towards the boy and out of Deaths embrace to which he hisses at the boy.
"'They' are the saviors, the ones who pick us up when we fall. The ones who know how we feel and decided to try and do something about it. They are the angels that have fallen from heaven to help  us. They are our superheroes!"
"You mean like cape wearing fake heroes?" I ask wrinkling my nose at the thought.
The boy smiles and shakes his head "No, these are REAL heroes. They have tattoos and piercings instead of capes and Scream what they feel instead of using cheap words. They are the real heroes of our world." As he says this a bunch of people looking just like he described come walking out of the shadowy mist. Tattoos, piercings and wings of all shapes, sizes and conditions.
Suddenly music starts to play and all I can hear is melodic screams coming from their direction. I fall into a trance listening to it. I am snapped out of it by a bunch of people surrounding me. These must be the ones the boy was talking about. They are different from the heroes. Dressed differently with tattoos and things but something is different.
3 people come out of the crowd as I study it. Two boys and a girl walk up to me. As they come closer I can make out their looks. Black or colored hair with eye color ranging from gray to dark brown. They wear converse, skinny jeans, band tees and many wristbands. The boys stop a few feet in front of me but the girl continues forward. She stares at my slit wrists as she walks closer. Self – conscious I hide then behind my back.
She breaks her stare as she stops in front of me. Lifting her wristbands she shows me her hidden secret. I gasp as I gaze upon her scars. The girl smiles slightly and says "You're not alone. We've all been through it. Even our saviors. At some point we all did it. Some of us were too far gone to save in life but they found their way home in death. Will you join us in life or in death? Will you join this broken family?" she asks.
I can hear people from the crowd say "Will you?", "Please join us", and "You're not alone in the fight against death!". I look around at all the different faces of the ones saved and the saviors. I can hear the music get louder as it reaches its climax. The heroes smile at me, holding out a hand for me to take.
Suddenly the boy from earlier appears right in front of me and offers a hand to me. "Come home with your family Nikki" I take a step closer to home and take his hand smiling, looking into his green eyes. He smiles and pulls me into the crowd. I can hear the music much more clearly over here. Now as a bright light flashes before my eyes I can feel something changing. The light recedes and I look at myself. I have changed. I am wearing a criss cross top with the words 'The only Death I listen to is Death Core' that stops just before my navel, Skinny jeans and green converse. You can also see my tattoos and my piercings have been placed in again (Snake Bites, multiple ear, and eyebrow) and a black beanie is placed upon my head.
Smiling I look to the still nameless boy and thank him. He smiles back and opens his mouth to speak but before he can a white hot hand grabs my hand and pulls me out of the crowd. Looking up I see the angry face of death.
"NO! You are mine child and I will not lose you like I did so many others!" he grips my arm tighter.
Determined not to show my pain I glare at him "Fuck you!" I bite out though the searing pain.
"Hah! You think they care? You're wrong! They care about no one but themselves. They will throw you away just like everyone else. But not me, no child I would never do that to you."I
My glare falters just a tiny bit at his words. His grin turns into something more evil as he gazes upon my broken face.
"That's not true!" I hear from the crowd. "He's just trying to trick you into doing something I know you don't want to do!"
"But-"
"NO, no buts. You must not believe him, he is deceitful! I should know, I was foolish enough to have trusted him once." A man with dark hair and eyes emerges from the crowd with a determined look on his face. "My name is Mitch Lucker and I am dead because of Him!" the man shouts pointing to Death. "I helped hundreds of kids with their lives with my music and because of him I can no longer do that! He took me away from my fans and my family!"
"How can you do that? Deceive people and taking them away from their families? From the ones who need them?"
"Because it's fun!"
"You are a vile creature that should have never existed! You should take your own advice and go die!" I yell glaring at him with everything I had.
Death must have seen something in my eyes because he released me and took a small step back. A white hot pain shot up though my back causing me to fall to my knees and cry out in pain. Even through the pain I can feel something extending from my back. As the pain slowly recedes I hear cheers coming from every direction. A hand comes into my line of vision and I follow the hand to an arm which is attached to the body of Mitch Lucker.
A smile plays on my lips as I accept his help up. Once on my feel he pulls my into a hug. The emotions are too much and I start to cry. Letting go he wipes away my tears, "there is no need to cry Nikki. You are fine, you have a family. And you have earned your wings!" Mitch says smiling down at me. A song I am not familiar with starts to play.

youtube.com/watch?v=VuGzJVKtW6g

"Welcome to the family Nikki!" everyone courses together.
Everything starts to fade and I freak out.
"What's happening?! Somebody help!"
"Its ok Nikki, we'll be there when you wake up" the boy spoke up standing next to the girl and two other boys.
"But I don't want all this to be just a dream!" I scream hoping he'll understand. But he just smiles and wave's goodbye as everything turns black.
The next time I wake up I am in a white room with many tubes attached to me. A nurse walks in and is in shock at seeing me awake (or so I guess) and runs out the room screaming for a doctor. They both burst into the room with four other people. As the doctor asks me questions I stare at the four others. They all give me a smile and motion for me to keep quite. I nod my head in conformation.
I am brought back to reality by the doctor asking what the last thing I remember is.
"I remember taking a walk in the rain. That's about it".
"That's to be expected. You were in the rain for quite a while in only your jeans and top. You have a mild case of hyperthermia and blood loss which led you to pass out on the street."
"When can I get out of here?" "In about a day or so. We want to keep you a little longer for safety purposes." Someone clears their throat. "hm? Oh yes I will leave you to catch up with your family". The doctor and nurse leave closing the door behind then. I turn to the group waiting for an explanation.
"First let me say, everything that happened? It was real" Green eyes start off
"Then how come doctor who didn't say anything about my wings?"
"Only other fallen angels can see then" the girl explains.
"Oh. Who are you guys anyway?" I ask slightly embarrassed for not asking earlier.
Smiling the girl steps up first "Haley Shadow, age 16, fallen angel since 2008"
Green eyes steps up next "James Ream, 17 fallen angel since 2007"
"Shane/Shawn Gray, 17, fallen angel since 2009" the final two say in unison.
I look at the Gray boys slightly confused. "Their twins" Haley says giggling.
"Nikki Wzientek, 16 fallen angel since today!" they got a chuckle out of that one.
"So what do you want to do when you get out of here?" James asks
"Do you guys play any instruments?" I ask a little shyly
."I play Guitar" Haley says
"Drums, Guitar, Violin and piano" the twins say.
"Bass" James replies.
"Why do you ask?"  Shane asks cocking his head to the side like a lost puppy
"Yes why do you?" Shawn says copying his brothers' movements.
"Cause I wanna start a band!" I say excitedly. "After all I have always loved to scream/sing!" I say smiling.
"What are we gonna be called?" = Haley
"How 'bout 'Let's Play Hangman'?" – James
"Awesome!" – All but James
Even through all of this happiness I can still feel the pull of death and hear a faint whispering of the Deathly Lullaby.
This is James ---> animebaby1223.deviantart.com/art/... (I know it says his name is oliver but changed it for the story. I don't own the picture..)
This is Haley ---> nairusher.deviantart.com/art/Emo-... (Don't own..)
This is Shane and Shawn --->  unforgottencrims.deviantart.com/a... <--- Shawn left ,Shane right. (Don't own this picture either..)
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1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
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My name is Nikolle and i want to share how i started listening to Black Veil Brides and how they changed my life. When i was younger i used to get bullied a lot. Kids used to call me fat, ugly, waste of space, emo and some other name i do not wish to share. They would also physically abuse me after school and in the halls at school when no teacher was around. Do to this torture i was put through everyday i actually started to believe their words comments. I thought no one cared about me so i started cutting my wrists. This went on for a couple of months. One night i was searching youtube for something to listen to and came across this band. It seamed good so i started listening. The song was Savior. I must tell you i haven't cried since the bullying started, so to say this song means a lot to me is an understatement because it made me cry for the first time in years. I soon became addicted to the band, like my own personal drug. One day while i was at the park sitting on the monkey bars with my earbuds in the personal hell walked up to me. She started saying crap about how i was emo and should just go die because no one cared about me and would be relieved if i died. I started thinking she was right but then Unbroken came blasting through my earbuds. I suddenly got the courage to tell her off and i did but i also punched her. The next day i was called into the principle's office. I was confused when she said i need to appoligize to my personal hell. She said it was 'cause I was bulling HER! i flat out refused to do so and walked out of the office.  I didn't come back until the next day but not without some new scars. I was cornered but the same bi*ch who was bulling me. Started saying she saw my scars saying i should make the final cut and end my pathetic life. I was beyond mad and didn't care if any teachers and students watched, i pulled up my sleeves and yelled that it was her fault i had scars. If she hadn't made my life a living nightmare i wouldn't Have to cut to get relief in my life and i listen to the stuff i do because it help me believe im not the only one. Everyone in the hall had cleared out and it was just me, her and the teachers. They took us to the office again. I couldn't stop smiling to myself, i had fnally done it, i stood up for myself. The next day a girl and boy dressed similar to me walked up and introduced themselves. We talked about our experiences and actually bacame good friends. They are still trying to help me stop the cutting though. People do still bully me but i have learned to try to ignore it but sometimes the things they say break through my walls. I am currently working to get over my depression and suicidal thoughts. I do hope one day i can meet the band that saved my life because i really do want to thank them.
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Featured

Devious Journal Entry by Animebaby1223, journal

WTF!! by Animebaby1223, journal

Devils Lullaby by Animebaby1223, journal

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My Rebel Story (bvb saved me) by Animebaby1223, journal